No
Idea Families Found in Scripture
Genesis
27
Jim
Davis
With the advent of the 21st century
we have discovered that our world is less than ideal. Our culture was shaken
by the terrorist’s attacks of 9-11-2001. Then dishonesty wiped out more
than ten thousand 401 (k)s as Enron collapsed. The world has awakened from
the dream of idealism in shock, and is looking for something more meaningful.
There is an article in Reader’s Digest by
Rabbi Marc Cellman & Monsignor Tom Hartman titled "How Do You Find
God?" The search for meaning in everyday life . . . The article reveals
how our thinking has changed since 9-11-2001. It reveals how there is now
a deeper self-examination going on all over the country. And love, family
and faith are emerging.
"More single people are flocking to dating
services, looking for committed relationships. Bridal retailers report
a surge in sales. Even sales of old-fashioned board games have skyrocketed.
"The new appreciation for time spent with
those we love poses a great spiritual question to materialistic yuppies
and workaholic careerists, and that question is this: ‘Was your life before
September 11 really working for you?’ To many the answer is no.
"‘We once heard of a CEO who spoke at his
retirement dinner to a group of young executives. He said, "I know you
want my job, and I’ll tell you how to get it. Last week my daughter was
married, and as she walked down the aisle, I realized I did not know the
name of her best friend, or the last book she read, or her favorite color.
That’s the price I paid for this job. If you are willing to pay that price,
you can have it.’
"People are figuring out the price they have
been paying for their lives, and for many its just too high.
"We asked kids during December to name the
very best gift they could receive. Their answer took our breath away. The
overwhelming choice was ‘More time with my mom and dad.’" (Reader’s Digest
April 2002, pg. 111-112.)
No Idea Families
Portrayed in Scripture
There are no ideal families portrayed
in Scripture. Initially, this truth may seem shocking, but it is
the truth. There is not a single family in the entire Bible that evokes
admiration. The Bible certainly has much instruction concerning the family,
but it never once reveals a perfect example of a family. We may think that
just knowing and following God as a Christian would be enough to make an
ideal family, but not so.
Eugene Peterson writes, "Adam and Eve are
no sooner out of the garden than their children get in a fight. Shem, Ham,
and Japheth are forced to devise a strategy to hide their father's drunken
shame. Jacob and Esau are bitter rivals and sow seeds of discord that bear
centuries of bitter harvest. Joseph and his brothers bring changes on the
themes of sibling rivalry and parental bungling. Jesse's sons, brave and
loyal in service of their country, are capricious and cruel to their youngest
brother. David is unfortunate in both wives and children—he is a man after
God's own heart and Israel's greatest king, but he cannot manage his own
household.
"Even in the family of Jesus, where we might
expect something different, there is exposition of the same theme. The
picture in Mark, chapter three, strikes us as typical rather than exceptional:
Jesus is active, healing the sick, comforting the distressed, and fulfilling
his calling as Messiah, while his mother and brothers are outside trying
to get him to come home, quite sure that he is crazy. Jesus' family criticizes
and does not appreciate. It misunderstands and does not comprehend.
"The biblical material consistently portrays
the family not as a Norman Rockwell group, beaming in gratitude around
a Thanksgiving turkey, but as a series of broken relationships in need
of redemption . . ." (Via Preachertoday.com.)
The Story of Dysfunctional
Family
The book of Genesis reveals one family
that is working like the devil to serve the Lord. This family gives
a prime example of a dysfunctional family. It is the family of Isaac and
Rebekah. This family is typical of why families become dysfunctional.
Genesis 27:1-13
27:1 When Isaac was old and
his eyes were so weak that he could no longer see, he called for Esau his
older son and said to him, "My son."
"Here I am," he answered.
2 Isaac said, "I am now an old
man and don't know the day of my death. 3 Now then, get your weapons--your
quiver and bow--and go out to the open country to hunt some wild game for
me. 4 Prepare me the kind of tasty food I like and bring it to me to eat,
so that I may give you my blessing before I die."
5 Now Rebekah was listening
as Isaac spoke to his son Esau. When Esau left for the open country to
hunt game and bring it back, 6 Rebekah said to her son Jacob, "Look, I
overheard your father say to your brother Esau, 7'Bring me some game and
prepare me some tasty food to eat, so that I may give you my blessing in
the presence of the LORD before I die.' 8 Now, my son, listen carefully
and do what I tell you: 9 Go out to the flock and bring me two choice young
goats, so I can prepare some tasty food for your father, just the way he
likes it. 10 Then take it to your father to eat, so that he may give you
his blessing before he dies."
11 Jacob said to Rebekah his
mother, "But my brother Esau is a hairy man, and I'm a man with smooth
skin. 12 What if my father touches me? I would appear to be tricking him
and would bring down a curse on myself rather than a blessing."
13 His mother said to him, "My
son, let the curse fall on me. Just do what I say; go and get them for
me." NIV
This family became dysfunctional by
seeking to accomplish God’s purposes without following God’s plan.
The blessing sought had to do with inheritance rights. Rebekah wanted Jacob
blessed with God’s promised inheritance. Jacob wanted to give Esau the
blessing of inheritance despite God’s will. The family became totally dysfunctional.
It wasn’t because of God’s will, but how they sought to accomplish God’s
will.
As Isaac was instructing Esau, Rebekah was
listening. The Hebrew word here carries with it the idea of habitual listening.
She knew from the very beginning what Isaac was planning to do, so she
was constantly listening in on the conversations of Esau and Isaac.
Esau hadn’t got out of the house before
Rebekah had a plan of her own. She had been plotting for years
to make sure the blessing would go to Jacob. Her plan was either out of
desperation or out of a very devious mind. It could have been both.
God had already determined that the blessing
was to be bestowed upon Jacob.
Genesis 25:21-26
21 Isaac prayed to the LORD
on behalf of his wife, because she was barren. The LORD answered his prayer,
and his wife Rebekah became pregnant. 22 The babies jostled each other
within her, and she said, "Why is this happening to me?" So she went to
inquire of the LORD.
23 The LORD said to her,
"Two nations are in your womb,
and two peoples from within
you will be separated;
one people will be stronger
than the other,
and the older will serve the
younger."
24 When the time came for her
to give birth, there were twin boys in her womb. 25 The first to come out
was red, and his whole body was like a hairy garment; so they named him
Esau. 26 After this, his brother came out, with his hand grasping Esau's
heel; so he was named Jacob. Isaac was sixty years old when Rebekah gave
birth to them. NIV
God spoke to Rebekah about the significance
of the twins struggling in her womb.
God said, "The younger shall rule over the older." Isaac didn’t buy it.
He was determined that the blessing would be bestowed upon Esau in secret.
Later when Jacob blessed his sons at the
end of his life, he did it in the presence of them all. However, his
father Isaac sought to give the blessing to Esau secretly. It left the
family open for difficulty. Maybe Jacob learned a lesson from his father.
When God said the older will serve the younger
that should have been the end of the matter of who would receive the blessing
of inheritance. But it wasn’t!
Jacob sought to impose his personal
will upon his family. It was a total disregard for the will of
God. He spent his life planning how Esau could receive God’s intended blessing
for Jacob. He sought to rob Jacob of God’s intended blessing. The family
learned their deceitful scheming ways from their father.
Isaac provoked the family to wrath. The responsibility
for carrying out God’s will was upon the father’s shoulder. He understood
that the blessing promised to Abraham was to be passed to Jacob.
Isaac was in outright rebellion to the will
of God, but he probably thought that he would accomplish God’s will through
his own selfish plans. This was the man who was laid upon an altar as a
sacrifice by his father Abraham. He had witnessed his father’s determination
to carry out God’s will. He had received the blessing of God as the second
born child to Abraham. He even knows that God chose him as the one to be
blessed by his father before he was born. Yet, he is refusing to give the
blessing of inheritance to God’s chosen one. He is unwilling to accept
God’s choice in the matter of Jacob.
God revealed his plan to Rebekah before the
twins were born. There is no indication that Rebekah failed to inform Isaac
of God’s plan. Isaac may have been one of those men bound and determine
that a woman wasn’t going to tell him what God’s will was. Maybe he was
overreacting to Rebekah because his mother Sarah was so head-strong about
Hagar having a child by Abraham. He lived in conflict with his brother
Ishmael as a result of her decision. Whatever the reasons; it did untold
damage to the family.
Isaac’s action possibly led to Esau
despising his birthright. His actions no doubt convinced Esau that
he deserved something better. Somehow, he had convinced himself to show
favoritism to Esau.
Fathers often seek to control the lives
of their children so they will become what they want them to become.
Fathers often want their children to live out their own personal dreams.
A man was a doctor, and he loved his profession. However, he strictly controlled
his children in order for them to become doctors, and they hated the profession.
The child seeking to live out a father’s dream usually becomes the object
of favoritism, which only leads to more complications.
God is not a policeman; He is a Father
concerned about His children. Contrary to popular opinion, sin
is not what you want to do but can't; it is what you should not do because
it will hurt you—and hurt you bad. ... When a child picks up a snake and
the father says, "Put that down right this minute!" the child thinks he's
losing a toy. The fact is, he is not losing a toy; he is losing a snake.
Isaac was like this child that picks up a snake. He couldn’t see the harm
he was doing by refusing to obey God.
Fathers must learn to accept their children.
A few years ago I was standing at the bedside of a dying man. It was the
day before his death. He had rallied as many dying do just before death.
He was more mentally alert than he had been in weeks. He was saying his
goodbyes. Later that evening outside the hospital room his child revealed
to me what the father said on that day. The child said daddy told me, "That
there really wasn’t anything wrong with me." But that statement was followed
by the child’s heart rending words, "But why didn’t he tell me that years
ago!"
Her words indicated that her life had seemed
to be a disappointment to her father. It was all because he had expected
the child to be something that was not intended to be. Isaac had the same
problem with his sons. He couldn’t see God’s purpose for each of his sons.
It wasn’t a dishonor not to be the one God had chosen for Abraham’s blessing.
God had a place for each of his sons, but Isaac attempted to thwart God’s
plan for each of his children by seeking to impose his will over God’s
will.
Jacob wasn’t any different from the
CEO mentioned in Reader’s Digest. He was so bent on getting what
he wanted out of life that he never truly enjoyed his family. I can’t even
begin to dream of how Jacob’s family would have been different, if only
he had encouraged each of his sons to follow God’s dream rather than his
on selfish dream for their lives. Instead he became a father that only
provoked his children to wrath with his own selfish ambition. Paul warns
fathers not to provoke the children to wrath, but instead bring them up
in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6:1-4).
Thank God for parents who teach their
children that God’s plan for their lives comes first. I witnessed
the manager of Dunkin Donut interviewing a high school student for a job
one morning this week. He was interviewing him at one of the tables across
from where I was sitting. The manager asked the young man if he was willing
to work on weekends. He quickly answered, "Yes, but I go to church on Sunday
mornings." I was proud of that young man. The manager then asked, "Then
you would be available to work afternoons and evenings on Sunday?" The
answer was, "Yes." The manager continued that interview in a very positive
manner.
Isaac’s family was much different. Each family
member wrestled each other all their lives over the rights of inheritance.
Rebekah and Jacob were fighting like the devil to make sure God’s plan
was carried out in accordance with their wills. This was the ongoing struggle
within this family from the day these boys were born. Each member of this
family sought their own selfish ends.
There was an irony to Esau selling his
birthright to Jacob for a bowl of soup. He knew that the birthright
of inheritance was to go to Jacob through God’s decree. It really wasn’t
his to sell. God had given it to Jacob before he was born.
Perhaps it was Isaac’s attitude toward
the blessing of inheritance that made Esau incompetent. He just knew
that his father was going to give him the blessing regardless of what transpired.
He was probably banking on it. So he sold his birthright in a frivolous
matter to thumb his nose at his brother Jacob as the chosen one of God.
This no doubt made Jacob feel justified
in cheating his brother out of his blessing. Jacob was also seeking
to assure his blessing by using the methods of the devil to make sure God’s
plan worked. He thought he could accomplish God’s purpose through less
than ethical means, but he ended up with only a stone for a pillow.
Can you begin to imagine the kind of tension
that pervaded the family dinner table? Neither came away with a smiling
face. That’s the heavy price tag of sin.
The end result was alienation of husband and
wife. Jacob faced the inevitable results of his deception. Esau became
profane because he refused to accept God’s assigned role for his in life.
Jacob became a cheat because his father never taught him to trust God.
Isaac had encouraged his sons rebellion.
Esau and Jacob became enemies.
Genesis 27:41-46
41 Esau held a grudge against
Jacob because of the blessing his father had given him. He said to himself,
"The days of mourning for my father are near; then I will kill my brother
Jacob."
42 When Rebekah was told what
her older son Esau had said, she sent for her younger son Jacob and said
to him, "Your brother Esau is consoling himself with the thought of killing
you. 43 Now then, my son, do what I say: Flee at once to my brother Laban
in Haran. 44 Stay with him for a while until your brother's fury subsides.
45 When your brother is no longer angry with you and forgets what you did
to him, I'll send word for you to come back from there. Why should I lose
both of you in one day?"
46 Then Rebekah said to Isaac,
"I'm disgusted with living because of these Hittite women. If Jacob takes
a wife from among the women of this land, from Hittite women like these,
my life will not be worth living."
This dysfunctional family was aggravated by
two children who were manipulated by their parents to accomplish their
own selfish purposes. Parents often aggravate the family by not accepting
their children as they are.
Fathers must develop an atmosphere of
openness with their wives for the welfare of the children. The
following verses are found immediately after Rebekah discovers Esau’s plan
to kill Jacob.
Genesis 28:1-5
28:1 So Isaac called for Jacob
and blessed him and commanded him: "Do not marry a Canaanite woman. 2 Go
at once to Paddan Aram, to the house of your mother's father Bethuel. Take
a wife for yourself there, from among the daughters of Laban, your mother's
brother. 3 May God Almighty bless you and make you fruitful and increase
your numbers until you become a community of peoples. 4 May he give you
and your descendants the blessing given to Abraham, so that you may take
possession of the land where you now live as an alien, the land God gave
to Abraham." 5 Then Isaac sent Jacob on his way, and he went to Paddan
Aram, to Laban son of Bethuel the Aramean, the brother of Rebekah, who
was the mother of Jacob and Esau. NIV
Again Rebekah resorts to deceit and
manipulation to protect the welfare of the family. She probably
feels compelled to do so. Isaac doesn’t seem to have a clue to what is
going on among his family members.
This dysfunctional family began with
a father who refused to listen to God. He thought his ways were
better than God’s. He refused to lead his family to trust God’s purposes.
This dysfunctional family was encouraged
by a wife and mother who refused to sit and have a heart to heart talk
with a husband bent on his own selfish ways. She resorted to the
same conniving ways of her husband to accomplish God’s purposes.
This dysfunctional family was promoted by
two sons who adopted the ways of their parents as they worked like the
devil to accomplish God’s purposes.
Conclusion:
Jesus came to restore harmony to families
by reconciling parents and children.
Malachi 4:4-6
"Remember the law of my servant
Moses, the decrees and laws I gave him at Horeb for all Israel. "See, I
will send you the prophet Elijah before that great and dreadful day of
the LORD comes. He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children,
and the hearts of the children to their fathers; or else I will come and
strike the land with a curse." (NIV)
Jesus came to restore harmony to our relationships.
Ephesians 5:22-6:10
22 Wives, submit to your
husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the
wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the
Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit
to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your
wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for
her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through
the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without
stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this
same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who
loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated his own body,
but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church- 30 for we
are members of his body. 31 "For this reason a man will leave his father
and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."
32 This is a profound mystery-but I am talking about Christ and the church.
33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself,
and the wife must respect her husband.
Ephesians 6
6:1 Children, obey your
parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 "Honor your father and mother"-which
is the first commandment with a promise- 3 "that it may go well
with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."
4 Fathers, do not exasperate
your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction
of the Lord.
5 Slaves, obey your earthly
masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you
would obey Christ. 6 Obey them not only to win their favor when
their eye is on you, but like slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from
your heart. 7 Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not
men, 8 because you know that the Lord will reward everyone for whatever
good he does, whether he is slave or free.
9 And masters, treat your
slaves in the same way. Do not threaten them, since you know that
he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no favoritism
with him.
10 Finally, be strong in the
Lord and in his mighty power. NIV
Discovering God’s purpose will lead
us to harmony. We can’t genuinely turn to God without turning to
those around us.
